Morles and beliefs on sex

Morals and Beliefs on Sex

In today’s society, I’ve come to realize that sex here in America, is very popular. I personally don’t have too much of a reaction towards sex, the reason being, is because of the many beliefs and morals I have for myself. I strongly believe virtue should only be given to a person who is certain to spend both lives together as a married couple. I don't think that sex is bad! I think that it's beautiful; that's why I want to save it until marriage. Furthermore, if something is beautiful, why restrain it? If sex is so beautiful, why not encourage people to practice it for enjoyment, as long as they do so safely and with someone they trust? Why such enormous restrictions on it?

Today, the majority of people choosing to have sex are teenagers. Many people don’t and choose not to understand the importance of sex. Sex is an important thing, but not thee important thing. People are entitled to their own judgment, and can decide to have sex when and however they please, but why loose the only one thing to a person when all that’s being felt for the opposite is just lust? Most of the time when people are in a relationship they feel love towards one another and show their form of love by having sex, because pleasure feels good. Yet when the relationship comes to an end, that’s when people start to notice there feelings was not necessarily love, it was lust. In the end, why would you want to know you gave the only precious thing up for feelings that didn’t really exist?

Born and raised in an Egyptian culture, I was told that babies come from God. Growing up in an Orthodox Christian family, the word “sex” has never been mentioned. With Christian parents, I was taught that sex is sacred and should only be given to the man I know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Sex has more value and significance than pleasure. I found out the definition and concept of sex in health class in the seventh grade, and even then it didn’t really sink in. Everything became so clear in eighth grade, when some of my friends became pregnant and almost everyone was involved in a relationship. It seemed uncertain at first, since the assumption of having babies to me was something within marriage, or so I was taught.

Entering high school was an oversize step into the sexuality world. I met someone who went to my church and he was my first connection. Although we didn’t go too far at first, a little tap kiss seemed over the edge. We were together for about three years and although our relationship went smoothly at first, in the long run, I realized our thoughts about boundaries in a relationship were absolutely different. I was frightened to get past making out, conversely he thought why not go all the way if we were so much in love? Yes, I was in love with him, but I wasn’t willing to give up the only thing I believed in just because I loved him. In my opinion, if he really loved me he should have just been more patient. This wasn’t the reason we broke up, but a relationship needs to keep growing in every aspect or else it dies, and I guess that’s what happened with us. The reason for the break up came when my ex constantly displayed his jealousy whenever I interacted with the opposite sex. He would do this by verbally abusing me and making me feel guilty for simply and innocently talking with another man. I interpreted this suspicion as his way of trying to control my actions, since he couldn’t control anything else. He interpreted it is as himself giving me attention and caring for my well- being. He would explain to me how he didn’t trust men for the simple fact that he knew exactly what their intentions were. He would emphasize that all men want one thing, which is sex. I believe there is a soul-mate out there for everyone, and eventually I will find the right man to honor me with love, nurture, respect, and compassion.

Being Christian always taught me, if you lust over someone in your heart you have committed adultery with that person in your heart. I’m not going to say that I didn’t think about sex or lust over a guy, because then I would be lying after all I’m human; but as for myself not being experienced with such intimacy I am not one to say that sex can be used in a positive effect. All I know about the subject matter is what’s said by people, and that’s all I have to judge upon it. An individual cannot criticize a matter if he/she isn’t experienced or taught in that subject.

In the past five years, my beliefs towards sex have grown stronger. I hear lots of stories from my friends where they regret rushing before their time. Over 50% of the people I have spoken to about sex said that the first person they lost their virginity to was a big mistake. Why would I want to put myself through that? Someone might question, well how do I know that it would be a mistake for me? However, why would I take a chance in making a mistake, when I can just let time take its place? I waited this long what’s a little longer. Most people switch partners just for the simple fact that they are not satisfied with the pleasure, even if it is after marriage. After I get married, I won’t have anything to compare it to, I will be satisfied with everything my husband has to give me.

My parents wouldn’t even kiss on the lips if my sister and I were around. It was more of a respect issue than anything else. They would be very disappointed at me if I were to lose my virginity before marriage. "No premarital sex" was something my sister and I knew was mandatory in my parent’s household, even though it was never emphasized upon. My parents are the type to look down on girls who have babies before marriage, they feel that those girls weren’t well disciplined by their parents and they don’t know the responsibility of having a child. Teenagers today have a lot more sex than adults. They also have children when they are just children themselves. Young adults barely know how to take care of themselves; nevertheless take care of another person.

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In conclusion, I feel that sex is a special thing and should only be practiced within marriage. Why would I want to experience a moment like this, when I know the person I chose to have sex with, is not or intend to be my husband? Sometimes I look at the way our country is becoming and how we have such a high percentage of divorce and I realize this could be due to our dating standards. The more we date, the more we have one-night stands, and the more we change partners. We often look for more pleasure elsewhere, forgetting that the purpose of sex and making love is so remarkable. We as humans sometimes fail to realize the true meaning of the compassion and secrecy that love has to offer. We take love and the meaning of it for granted, and don’t appreciate what it has to offer until it’s gone! I can not wait for the future to see what love has to offer me. I hope I’m the happiest person in the world and receive what I’ve been dreaming of. Until this day, I look back and thank God I didn’t do anything that I might have regretted. Although, at times I would sit there and wonder what my attitude toward sex would be like if I wasn’t a Christian. Would my perceptions and morals have changed? I guess I’ll never know!